Disclaimer: Not all people who menstruate identify as women or females. The people who I am addressing in this blog post are people who experience a menstrual cycle.
I’m writing to you from the comfort of my bed, from the comfort of sweat pants, and from the comfort of taking a break from my freelance work as a copywriter… because I can and I have allowed myself to. I was having trouble coming up with a concept for this week’s post, but suddenly something clicked. Duh! Why don’t I write about what I’ve been experiencing for the past week or so as a result of my cycle?! Or at least a small part of it, just the mere fact that we are cyclical beings. We are not men and we do not embody the Divine Masculine in every moment, so why act like it?
Let me explain further. Masculine energy is all about action, clarity, and strength. Feminine energy is all about rest, support, nurturance, and creativity. This might make sense when you think about how the United States of America was built by a patriarchy and nurtured by a matriarchy. We all have a duality of masculine and feminine energy within us, but are you tapped into both and do you know when and how to feel more into one than the other?
Last week, I was PMSing hard. I was emotional, fatigued, and my depressive, obsessive thoughts were heightened. I remained aware of this giant wave forming because I’ve been fostering a deep connection with my cycle. Knowing I wasn’t going to be feeling my best and my most driven, I meticulously scheduled out my week to prepare my body for my upcoming bleed at the week’s end. I didn’t take on a ton of freelance work, I made sure each day’s work was balanced with lots of rest and reflection, and I held space for myself to feel all my emotions and do with them whatever I wanted. I’ve also accidentally aligned my biweekly therapy sessions with my cycle so that I have a session when I’m at my lowest point (pms/menstruation) and at my highest point (ovulation). Highly recommend.
Rest and reflection is immensely important for menstruating people. We aren’t meant to be constantly working hard the way American society (men) has programmed us to. We need periods of DOING LESS. We need to unapologetically voice our need for space, self-nurturance, and even cuddles, if that’s what will make our cycles more bearable. Periods aren’t something to be shameful or secretive about.
Too many people experience horrible periods, yet they have to fight through the pressures and responsibilities of life because they can’t afford or just aren’t able to take a break. I’m endlessly grateful that I can afford to work less during this time in my cycle, but I realize that I’m lucky. I’m even lucky to have a safe space to reside in while I experience my luteal phase and my bleed. Perhaps the rise of work from home and freelance lifestyles has allowed more people to be flexible around this sensitive time, but I feel like it’s still not embraced. This is a perspective I come back to each month, each cycle, each time I feel like I can’t work for another second or else I just might shrivel up into a little tear-soaked ball. Funny enough, that’s usually when the masculine voice inside says, “Well shit, if I’m not working a lot this week, I’m not making as much money, and it’s all because of my damn period!” Woaahhh there! That’s a thought… and I can choose to believe that thought and let it ruin my life or I can choose to let it pass and remain empowered in my decisions. Yeah, I choose empowerment.
There are so many tangents I could go on with this topic, but I’ll leave you with this… If you struggle, in any sense of the word, with your period or with PMS, just know that those feelings are only temporary. There are things you can incorporate into your life to make this time easier and more pleasant, it just takes a bit of patience. Your drive, your appetite, and your energy will come back, just like it always does. Your cycle is unique to you and you have the power to connect to it and work with it for your benefit.
Lots of love,
K
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God I wish I had some semblance of an actual cycle to gauge on. It’s gotten better over the last year or so, but for at least 15 years I had no official “Cycle” and it always threw me off. You can’t prepare for something you don’t know is coming, or you prepare only to be let down by it going missing again (and not for happy reasons). I truly believe that a kind of schedule around it would seriously help me and my family cope with the insanity it is when it does come.
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I hear you! Many women don’t experience a bleed or a regular cycle, so it can be difficult to feel aligned or even connected to your cyclical nature. I recommend following the lunar cycle. It’s predictable and offers lots of space for action, relaxation, and reflection. The book Lunar Abundance by Ezzie Spencer is a great book to help with that. Aside from that, perhaps a sense of embrace could replace preparation. Food for thought, thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!
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Kayla, this post was exactly what I needed. I feel like my love language is people telling me to chill and reading this was like a big hug. 😩 So inspired by this- the idea of working with my cycle and deliberately giving myself more space during that week is so damn genius, but so obvious?? Like duh?? Lovely post ♥️
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Right?! I think it’s so important to have these reminders and to come back to our cycle. It holds so much wisdom. 🙂 Thanks, Céline!
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