Hello! Compliments of the new lockdown level. I hope it’s treating you well.
So, we’re edging closer to the end of our yearly newfound resolve to change our lives (i.e. February.) I didn’t have my traditional sit-down, journal about the year ritual, because honestly, I didn’t feel like it. But I also knew that I wanted to focus on just two things:
- Backing myself
I’m going dive into the second goal today, and what “backing”, supporting or trusting myself looks like to me.
Where does this come from?
I know I don’t speak for myself when I say I shrink myself too often (it’s okay, this is a safe space.) But it’s not just being cute and humble on the outside, it’s what I say to myself on the inside.
I’ve been working on a long-term project for some time, and when stars started to align and I found someone who was interested in developing/funding, I caught myself selling myself short. I was too eager to throw out my original ideas and go with something I knew didn’t resonate with me, and when I sat down and thought about my story, I realised I actually have what it takes. I realised I needed to trust myself more.
Three ways I’m backing myself
1. Being my own hype beast
Look, I LOVE motivating people. I love it love it love it. But girl can you do it for me, too?? (This is me speaking to me). A lovely thing about thoughts is that I’m the only one who hears them. No one has to know that I think I look like the BADDEST BITCH today. No one has to hear me tell myself I’m creative, wonderful, beautiful, glorious and whatever else. Thinking those things doesn’t make me a terrible person, it just makes me feel good about myself, so… where are the cons?
I’ve felt remarkably better about myself lately since committing to thinking only positive things about who I am. That has spilled over into my work, and I’ve been considerably more productive since then.
2. Discerning who/what to trust
I’m not one to be closed off to feedback, but this last time came from an “I’m not good enough so please help me be good enough” space rather than an “I’m stuck and I need a fresh pair of eyes” one.
I have a few people who’ve been on this journey with me, reading my many drafts, giving me honest feedback, but ultimately allowing me to do what is truest to me. And I’m learning to discern whose voice I should listen to and trust I know who supports me.
Another interpretation of this point is to trust in whatever higher power works for you. Universe, fate, God or gods, kismet, even if it’s just the universal creativity gods or whatever Kanye says, it can be super helpful to feel like the guidance you need will come to you, and that it’s your job to keep doing the work.
3. Reminding myself that no one is me
The wonderful thing about creativity is its infinity: no two people would express a feeling or story or idea in the exact same way. So when it comes to creative or business ideas, it’s easy to fall into the “but someone else has already done it” way of thinking, when the real question is: did they do it exactly like you?
We bring our own flair, personality and interpretations of things to every space we occupy, and so there is a place for all of us. One thing that’s gotten me through my doubts is the thought that there is someone out there dying to consume what I have to offer. And it’s really my responsibility as a creative to make that happen (for them and for me).
There’s someone somewhere waiting for exactly what you can bring. So back yourself, bih ✨ Happy 2021 🎉