Loving Yourself Through the Lows

Currently, my life is on the upswing. This is not a brag, this is just a fact that my life is, for all intents and purposes, going well. *touch wood* This is especially pronounced by the fact that a few weeks ago, I could not say the same. Naturally, I thought “This won’t last long. This is just for now and in a week or so I’ll probably be depressed again.”

Even though there’s some unnecessary pessimism in that thought, I have to face facts: not every day is going to be amazing. Going from that dark period where I could barely drag myself to the shower to here and now, I’ve learned a lot about the waves of life. And I’ve reflected on how I treat myself when I’m going through a tough time.

Some weeks are going to be quiet; spent waiting, spent surviving and not thriving. So, I’ve thought of three thoughts to keep in mind during those lower points.

1. This too shall pass

As typical as this statement is, it really can be a comfort during the lowest of the lows. I distinctly remember wondering if I would always feel that way. Reminding ourselves that this bleh day, this low point, is just temporary makes it much easier to get through it.

I think this reminder also lessens our resistance to those feelings. Why fight something that’s just passing through?

2. There is always meaning- it’s up to you to make it

If nothing ever made me upset, if global events didn’t bother me, well, I simply wouldn’t be a well-functioning empathetic human. Being upset about things often stirs us to make change, whether on a small or large scale. Sometimes I feel down because I haven’t been resting enough, sometimes I feel down because I need to make a change in my life, and sometimes I just need to slow down and reflect on things.

Especially if you do creative or freelance work, there are going to be quiet periods. You get to decide if that means you suck and should give up, or allow this hard time to pass and then get back on that horse.

3. You are worthy, always

One of the least helpful beliefs I had was that I wasn’t worthy of things when I was feeling low. I remember even in a previous relationship, being terrified of my partner coming home and seeing that nope, I am not quirky and happy today, and being so convinced that they would lose all interest in me. When it’s said aloud or written, I see just how insane that sounds. But I would really think I wasn’t worthy of being loved when I was feeling down.

It’s totally okay to need alone time and want some space during that time, but I think it’s important to distinguish constructive [self-care] time alone and pushing someone away out of fear of being “unlovable.” Your worth doesn’t depend on the mood you’re in or what you’re going through.

You are always worthy of love (including self-love), respect and good things, on good days, on bad days, in bad weeks and bad months. You are worthy.

How do you get through greyer days?