The 1st Step to Maintaining Your Relationships: Finding the Value in Them

Over the years and especially recently, I have realized time and time again that I need to acknowledge the value (and sometimes the lack of value) in each of my relationships. It can sometimes be easy to go months without talking to some people just because I’m “busy” with other things, but when I remind myself of the value in my relationships with these people, it’s more motivating to reach out to them or to do something for them that shows them I care. Too many times, I’ve let friendships dissolve because I don’t confront myself with the fact that there is real value to these friendships and they might disappear if I don’t have that at the forefront of my mind. I don’t remind myself of the heartache that becoming disconnected from friends causes… on both ends. For me, it’s easy to be “out of sight, out of mind,” so this practice helps me keep focus on who and what I value in life so that I can keep those close to me.

I invite you to pick up a pen and paper or pull up a note on your device and join me in evaluating. It’s doesn’t take much time at all (I hope) and is so worth it! The harder you have to think to come up with things you value about a person or relationship, the more you may want to consider redefining that relationship.

Here are some questions to ponder:

  • Do you want to pursue that relationship to see what other value it may bring?
  • Do you think you would benefit from actively adjusting your expectations of this person?
  • Are you satisfied with how much communication occurs in this relationship?
  • What could you do to improve your relationship with this person?
  • Is setting boundaries in this relationship required for you to feel content in it?

Maintaining relationships, on top of all the other stuff we have to deal with during covid-19, is difficult. It can be frustrating, confusing, and exhausting at times! But we have the tools to cope. We have the time. There are great benefits to identifying the value in our relationships because it keeps us connected to the bigger picture of who we are and what we value in life. I invite you to share your discoveries with those people and I encourage you to share this practice with anyone who you feel could benefit from it… maybe a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, your partner, or your family.

Have a lovely weekend!


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