Recently, I stumbled across the work of Certified Sexologist and Pleasure Coach, Tyomi Morgan, and let me tell you, I AM INSPIRED. She shared her knowledge in an online event called Pajamas & Lipstick: The Pleasure Edition, where she detailed the four types of pleasure… one of which being sensual pleasure. She emphasized that sensual pleasure is totally different from sexual pleasure. It has to do with the five senses. Tyomi posed the question: How am I receiving pleasure through my five senses regularly? This got me really thinking and has made me more aware of my five senses and where on the “Pleasure Scale” I am each day. As this is what I feel called to write about this week, I figured I would dive into the five senses and how we can find pleasure in each of them. Thank you Tyomi!
This is the first sense that comes to mind when I think of the five senses. I think of what clothing I love being on my body, what fabrics my blankets, sheets, pillows, rugs, and towels are made of. Soft, silky, fuzzy materials give me pleasure. A corduroy meditation cushion on top of a fluffy meditation rug made of soft, wool roving. I think of the soft keyboard cover that touches my fingertips every time I type on my computer. I think of my skin… touching soft skin is such a lovely feeling. How can I bring more of this into my life? By gently exfoliating my skin and giving myself massages with oils or lotions that I enjoy. Steamy bubble baths, sitting in a sauna… My hair! Keeping my hair clean and soft, tousseling my curls. Running my fingers through my partner’s hair. Holding hands. Entangling ourselves around each other. Acupressure! I have a fantastic acupressure mat that I lay down on or put my feet on when I work. It makes my body pulsate and my blood flow, while calming and centering my mind.
I recently stocked up on some big ass candles in scents that I adore, because who doesn’t love walking into their room or kitchen when it smells like pink orchids or bergamot and clary sage? Burning palo santo or sage and diffusing essential oils is something to explore. I love dabbing a little bit of jasmine essential oil on my skin (just make sure your essential oils are okay to put on skin, you don’t want that shit to burn you… been there done that). I also recently acquired a perfume oil [Original by Riddle] that is described as, “your skin but better”. The scent is unique to the user and is a “non-scent, scent”. It is so lovely and I’m putting it on my neck and collar bones as I write this! You could also think about food when exploring this sense. Cook yourself or your partner a homemade meal with delicious spices and herbs that awaken your sense of smell. I love the smell of fresh sage, tomatoes, coconut oil, curry, and rosemary. Brew a cup of coffee with freshly ground beans. Bake some ooey gooey brownies. Everyone loves the smell of chocolate… and eating chocolate creates more endorphins than kissing!
Speaking of chocolate………………. yes ladies eat that chocolate! Just try to get the real stuff, high in cacao and low in sugar. Pair it with berries, wine, hot tea, a homemade meal… anything that gives you comfort and makes you feel good. I’m very curious what tastes make you feel good and empowered. Feel free to reply below.
What do you like to listen to? What sounds or music make you feel divine? Maybe it’s slow jazz, sexy R&B, or Latinx music… or maybe it’s something more fast paced and energetic! Perhaps you love certain podcasts, listening to your own voice or the voice of your partner. Maybe what gets you going is the sound of rain, ocean waves, singing bowls, your breath or your partner’s breath, or a fire crackling.
Fire is the element related to your root chakra, which governs your primal Self, human connection, and self-love. Lighting candles or starting a fire in the fireplace is a great place to start if you want to ignite your innate sensuality and connect with yourself or someone else. Besides fire, what else do you love to look at. Patterns, textures, colors, warm tones or cool tones, crystals, plants, flowers, artwork… YOURSELF? Gazing into your own eyes, taking photos of your body, dancing in the mirror, smiling and having a good time while watching yourself. These are all things to consider.
I encourage you to write down what invigorates your five senses and see where you can incorporate those things more regularly in your life.