What a few months this New Year has brought me. The Universe has been calling me to engage in the NEW, in so many forms. To learn, heal, and find balance…
Sometime in December, I felt a strong need to learn about Reiki energy healing. I signed up for a few trainings at All That Matters in South Kingstown, RI and by mid-March, I was a Level II Usui Holy Fire III Reiki Practitioner. In the past few months, I have also been in the process of becoming a foster mom for orphaned pups.
I feel called to share this emotional story of healing, growth, love, and compassion [for the Self and for other living beings]. I hope you can take something from these words I am about to spew… whether it be a reminder to set aside time for your Self to be completely present or a newfound interest in connecting with animals in a new way.
The Trauma
I was the age of seven years when I was attacked by a dog. A large Akita, to be exact. He broke my jaw and damaged some of my facial nerves, which created a ripple effect of self-image issues, social issues, and issues perceiving the world and my Self. I held onto this story of being someone who was attacked at a young age, who hated my appearance, who was fearful of large dogs… who was damaged. I developed anxiety and depression and didn’t know how to cope with it properly. I spent many years attached to this story, believing someone couldn’t truly know “me” without knowing this specific part of my past. And to some degree, this could be true, but most times this didn’t serve me.
The Healing
It took me years and years to heal my relationship with my Self and the dog. I can give a lot of credit to psychedelic medicine, self-reflection, energy work, and loving, accepting friends for helping me on my journey. By the time I was a freshman in college, I could smile freely without being self-conscious, I released the attachment to the story, and I was in the express lane on the way to tremendous healing and transformation.
I knew I was being called to learn and experience Reiki healing for a very powerful reason. I can feel that I am meant to help others heal with this work… but I want to tell you about a specific time when I was profoundly healed by this energy.
The first day of my Level II training [in March] was the date that marked 15 years since the dog attack. This was the day that we learned how to facilitate the release of addictive habits or thoughts, balance mentally/emotionally, and send Reiki over distances, to our past, and to our future. This was all so synchronized. I used to be addicted to this story and the effects it had on my life. I needed to be more mentally and emotionally balanced. I needed to send healing Reiki love and light to my childhood Self.
I spent the following day in yin mode, reflecting and continuing the healing, preparing for the second day of my training which was the next day. On the second day of the training, we practiced. We paired up and were going to practice distance healing on each other, one at a time. I was first. I went into the other room and my partner was to send me Reiki first. I laid down on the floor and began to breathe, opening my heart up. I almost immediately felt a small amount of anxiousness before I began to tear up. I started crying and breathing heavier. After a few minutes, I had a very clear vision of a dog lunging at me aggressively, mouth wide open. I didn’t try to suppress it, I just let it be. The vision dissipated quickly and I began to feel a calming, white energy overcome my presence. I received another vision of a dog, this time sitting calmly and looking lovingly at me. In the vision, I caressed its head and found peace with it. More tears came and I felt so powerful. And just like that, the 20 minutes were up and we were called back to the main room to reflect and share. I shared my experience and the backstory with the small, intimate group and released even more tears. Myra, our teacher, encouraged me to let it all out and for the group to pause in silence and send me Reiki energy. It was one of the most healing experiences of my life.
Moving on from that, I recently became a foster mom to a beautiful 4 year old dog named Archer. Going into the fostering process, I was aiming to foster puppies or small dogs… but Archer was in need of a home right when I was available to foster, so I opened myself up to the opportunity. Archer is a border collie/lab retriever mix on the larger side (60ish pounds!) and is very energetic. He loves tennis balls, long walks, and nuzzling. He doesn’t do well in groups of dogs or without attention for a while. He teaches me and challenges me every single day. He teaches me compassion and patience and challenges my strength and assertiveness. This experience is fostering [pun intended] a greater sense of ease and acceptance of large dogs within me. He has brought so much happiness and energy to my life and to my housemates’ and friends’ lives. It’s truly incredible! I feel in control [most times haha] and loved because I am [for the time being] his human.
I no longer I have a fear or phobia of large dogs… and that is BEYOND liberating to say. Sometimes, they still intimidate me, but that’s natural. That’s okay. I have found that many people I know are also intimidated by large dogs! I’m just on a journey towards acceptance and love, straying away from fear and closed-mindedness.
Healing trauma opens up the world in new ways. It rejuvenates me, makes me feel alive and in charge of my destiny. My energy centers (aka chakras) feel more balanced than ever. I feel clear and confident in my human Self. Healing trauma has always been my dharma, unknowingly. I never truly believed that I would get over this fear and anxiety associated with this traumatic event that happened when I was a small child. I thought it would always cause bullshit to arise in my life, but I don’t feel that anymore. It happened to me, I’ve grown tremendously from it, and I’m here to share what I’ve gained with anyone and everyone.
Reiki heals me. Archer heals me. I heal me.
Sending love and light…
Kayla,
Feminine Boutique Blog 