Senior Anxiety

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Hi All!

I have two finals today and a presentation on Friday and then next semester I’m a senior! I will officially be done with school next May and I am excited as well as a little nervous. Excited because I’ll finally be able to devote all of my time to my career, but a little nervous because I have always loved school and I can’t imagine my life without it. 

For a while, there were also some feelings of anxiety mixed in with all that excitement. Over the past few months, I’ve had teachers urge myself and my classmates to get started with auditioning and getting work in our industry while we are still in school. They would say things like “You’re not getting any younger.” “One day you’ll wake up and you’re 50!” While this is completely valid advice, it also is pretty negative and it made me nervous about how much time I had before I “missed my shot”. This also had a lot to do with the topic of my last blog post which I will link here.

I’ve really been doing some soul-searching and analyzing why it was that what my teachers had to say made me feel so pressured. Truthfully, it had nothing to do with what any of my teachers said, or what society believes, and had everything to do with what I allowed into my consciousness.

Usually, I’m pretty on top of my spiritual game because I’ve meditated and done yoga for years now. Over the last few months my schedule has been crazy busy and unfortunately, my spiritual practice took a backseat. I knew that this wasn’t good from the beginning because it is so easy for negative thoughts and ideas to creep into my mind. 

I’ve been consciously taking back my mind for the last month or so and here is what I have realized. Passion and drive are wonderful things that promote growth and creativity. Impatience and insecurity will kill both of them if you let them. It’s completely normal for anyone entering their last year of college to feel a little apprehensive about what the future holds. For most of us, this is the biggest step into real adulthood, so naturally, it can be scary. 

For some of us, it may feel like if we don’t have everything figured out by the time we have graduated, we have failed somehow. Or that if we don’t land a job in our field immediately after graduation, we’ve done something wrong. But truthfully, its all part of the journey! Being impatient about how long things appear to be taking isn’t going to make anything happen faster. The only thing it will do is make you miserable and possibly even stop your progress. 

Progress comes as it comes and it is important that we don’t rob ourselves of the joy the journey brings. None of us are obligated to follow a certain path or timeline so let’s stop acting like it. I realized that when I continued to worry about what my teachers had to say, I was letting something that should have been motivating me instead make me feel inadequate. On top of that, I was letting others define my life for me. No one can do that for you. People can only give their advice, but it’s up to us to live our lives as we see fit. 

What I’m learning to do, and what I hope you all do too, is more forward with passion, not fear. I want my passion and love for my career to be the thing that sends me out on auditions, not the fear of getting older and missing my shot. I don’t know that I’m there completely, but I’m proud of the progress I’ve made and overall very excited for the future. 

Have a fabulous day everyone,

Gianna


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