Lessons in Bad-Assery


Céline and I as Talisha and Margie in the play Milk Like Sugar. 

¡Hola, mi gente! 

I’ve been getting in these moods lately where I feel terrible about myself and where I am in life. I make a mistake and all of a sudden, I think I’m a terrible person/daughter/friend, my goals are shit, and I’m not as together as I think I am. To be fair, making a mistake usually doesn’t make a person feel great. But, I felt like I was taking these feelings to a whole new level.

After a few mistakes and a lot of shitty feelings, I realized that I really needed to pay attention to my thoughts. We all make mistakes and fall down, so it’s important that we know how to deal with them when it happens. Sometimes that’s easier said than done.

When you set goals for yourself, you’re to make mistakes and “fail”.  So, how do you stay motivated and positive when your mind and/or the people around are telling you to quit or that you suck? Well, here is where the list below comes into play.  Everything that is below is something that I have consciously had to remind myself of when I get in one of my moods. They have really helped me and I hope they can do the same for you!



1. Stay Humble

I realized that part of why I was so upset with myself was because I still had this crazy idea that I should not fail. In a weird way, it was almost as if I unconsciously thought I was “too perfect” to make mistakes. Crazy, amiright?

Sit down. Be Humble. Realizing your beauty, intelligence, power, grace etc. is an absolutely amazing thing. However, you can’t be so caught up in how awesome you are that you ignore the areas you can improve on. You’re not so perfect that you can’t make a mistake!! When you do make a mistake, accept it graciously and see how you can become better from the experience. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

(Also, being humble DOES NOT mean that you make fun of yourself and have self-deprecating thoughts. That’s not being humble, that’s being mean to yourself. Don’t be like that.)



2. Recognize Your Progress and Efforts

When I think of progress, I like to think of bamboo. Certain species of bamboo can take an excessively long time to sprout and grow. However, once it does, it grows rapidly and it is very strong. That to me is the perfect analogy for progress. It may seem like your efforts are for nothing when in reality, there is a lot of change and growth happening below the surface.

Keep working and no matter how easy it may seem to just give up, know that your hard work will pay off. Often times, it will work out even better than you could have imagined.



3. Don’t Compare

I can be so bad at this sometimes as I often compare myself to other women. I see other women doing amazing things and I think to myself that I ‘m not doing enough.  I know that I am not the only one who does this and honestly, we all need to stop. First off, if you see a girl who is killing the game… be inspired by her, not discouraged by her! Life is not a competition and as someone who can be very competitive, I’m constantly having to remind myself of this.

Also, everyone’s path is different and beautiful. Our definitions of success and happiness don’t have to be similar to each other’s or even make sense to each other. If you feel good about what you’re doing and where you are in life, don’t let anything take that away from you. You, and only you get to decide your path and future.



4. Embrace The Haters (but not too much)

HATERS GONNA SAY IT’S FAKE!!! No, but seriously, haters are a part of life and the sooner you learn to deal with them, the better. I like to think of haters as gauges. The closer you get to excellence, the more vocal the haters seem to be. So, when you see the random negative people pop back up into your life like a weed, just think “Wow! I know I must be doing alright because this person always seems to want to bring me down when things are going my way!” (lol)

Another thing about haters to know is that their attitude is a reflection of themselves, not you and your capabilities.  Don’t make the mistake of taking on their limitations as your own. Eventually, the negative people will fall away and all you’ll be left with are people who are as down for you as you are for them.  So, when you see the haters, learn from them, let them make you stronger, then tell em’ “boy, bye” and keep moving forward, my friend!!



5. Be Enough

For this one, I’m going to share with you my favorite line from the 1993 movie Cool Runnings. “Derice, a gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.” Goals, dreams, and aspirations are wonderful things to have and they can cause a lot of positivity in a person’s life. However, always make sure that the goals you have for yourself are healthy goals.

The key difference between having healthy goals and unhealthy ones is this; a healthy goal that you have set this goal because you love yourself and want to improve your life and/or circumstances. An unhealthy goal is one that you set for your self in order to love to yourself. An unhealthy goal says you’re not enough unless you achieve the goal you’ve set for yourself. That’s never a good thing.


Lastly, always remember that being a badass doesn’t mean that you never fall, it means that you always get up when you do fall. I hope this list will help you as much as it has helped me. Now, go out and live your awesome and badass life!


Stay Fabulous,


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