Hello again, my loves
Today, I want to try my hand at some dating/ relationship advice. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about relationships and how they can be affected by social media, which is what has prompted me to write this today. Over the course of the last few years, I have dated several guys all of whom have had very different approaches to social media which I think have impacted our relationships. I think a lot of relationships nowadays are impacted by social media in ways that we don’t even notice.
I have developed a (very scientific) rating system of the different kinds of guys I have dated and have listed them below:
Type A: “The Good Texter”
I dated a guy once who was very active on social media and we had great conversations through text. He was witty and funny and we really enjoyed each other’s humor. However, when we would hang out, I noticed that I didn’t feel the same way about him. We didn’t have as much to talk about and the conversation never seemed as natural as it did over the phone. I saw him and I realized that I liked him more over text. That is my definition of a Type A relationship. Besides not connecting when we were face to face, I felt like he was the kind of guy who needed my attention all the time. I felt like he didn’t understand or appreciate that I needed time for myself. This was/is very problematic for me.
Type B: “The Whole Package”
Another guy I dated was very similar to Type A in that we had long and great conversations over text and he was also very active on social media. The difference between these two relationships is that I actually liked him in real life too! Which is great, so be happy if you find this. However, this person may also fall into the same category as Type A when it comes to not respecting your time. It’s important to remember that you’re not obligated to spend every waking second together. If that’s what the both of you want, cool. But if you’re feeling overwhelmed by someone, that’s probably an indication that you need to let it go.
Type C: “The Bad Texter”
This guy here can get a lot of negative attention and to me, they don’t always deserve it. They are probably not as active on social media and may take hours to get back to you (or they may respond immediately, you’re never quite sure). We see a lot on social media about how not getting a text back and being “left on read” are terrible things, but my idea is that this is not always a bad thing. Now, hear me out for a second, there is a difference between someone being a total jerk and not responding to you, and someone not responding because they have a life and choose not to live it completely on their phone. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that just because someone is not all up in your business every second of every day doesn’t mean they don’t like you. In fact, it could very well mean that they respect you and your time. Why is that a bad thing? Maybe the reason I’m partial to this type is because this is me (hehehe). I know for sure that I am not trying to blow anyone off or offend anyone, but I have a life! I have responsibilities that I need to take care of and I can’t always respond to people right away.
I want to end this by saying that I think social media can be a great tool and I am thankful for it. It can inspire change and connect people all over the world and that is awesome. However, I also think that it has helped to establish unrealistic standards for dating and other aspects of life. We have been taught that we need to be “on” all the time and that taking time for ourselves is somehow selfish. Not only that, but we have somehow learned that a person’s persona via text or on Instagram/Facebook/Snapchat etc, is 100% accurate to who they are in real life. Remember that people exist outside of social media and that it’s important to see who they truly are before you make judgments about them.
Hope this makes sense and it that it was fun to read!