Ask Mighty: Parents, Self-Esteem, and Communication

Why do my parents think I have self esteem issues because I’m not as social as I was last year? I don’t want to be the same person I was last year. -V

Dear V,

The first question I wanted to ask you is, have your parents ever come out and said those words to you? Or are you just assuming they think that of you?

When I was a Junior in high school, I became a recluse. I was in depression and nothing really interested me. My parents were concerned but they never asked me outright. The fear of being judged and questioned always led me to assume that they thought I was lazy and a loser.

Communication is key, dear V. Its very, very important. I think the biggest mistake we make when it comes to people who are closest to us (especially, parents) is that we assume they would just understand us. We think that they’re connected to us via some telepathic, mystical device that helps them read our minds. But darling, you have to realize that they’re people too. You have to tell them what’s going on.

They are old and wise and much more brilliant than any of us. They’ve experienced the highest highs and the lowest – things that we cannot even fathom. Talk to them about what’s on your mind. Let them give you an input about your ideas about how things have changed. You probably won’t agree with them, or don’t necessarily have to take their advice. But opening up to them or just putting these ideas about this particular situation out there would help them understand you better. Maybe even open up a conversation about their life!



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